hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
