Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
