If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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