Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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