that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
