Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
