Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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