I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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