Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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