I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I need a burrito and a hug.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
