I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
