I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
