i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
