no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
