are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
