dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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