Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
