and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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