:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
