This is not my ceiling
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
