dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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