Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
