plz talk dirty to me
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
