so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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