adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
