I think I died a long time ago.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
