i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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