Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
