I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
