I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
