at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
