It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
