im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
