David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
