what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
