third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
