never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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