sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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