I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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