ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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