i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
