Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
