Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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