Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
