If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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