hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
