Don't you send me to vm
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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