There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
