Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
