Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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