Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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